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 Sports Chick
August 16, 2004 Weekend of Whimpers By: Marty Coultas Welcome back Milwaukeeworlders. No intro is really needed as many of you may assume what I am going to address this week. So, without hesitation, allow me to begin.... Whistling Straights pretty much turned into "whimpering straights" this weekend the first three days of the PGA as a bevy of golfers turned the vaunted course at Sheboygan into just another weekend at the beach. When I was a kid and we went to Point Beach Park, it was nothing but fun although sometimes it was a little breezy and chilly. So it was for the professionals from the PGA. Mr. Kohler had something else in mind and Pete Dye wanted to negate the advantage of equipment but when Justin Leonard averages over 280 per drive it appears that Pete's efforts are at least one step behind the technicians at Taylor Made. Oh well, better luck next time. Take what you learned this week and build upon it. Sunday was more about who coughed it up than it was about the course. It needs to be noted that Phil Mickelson failed to win a major for the 47th time in 48 appearances. Vijay Singh finally won after his 18th consecutive failure to win a major. Els is close (but no cigar and another excuse) choked for the 38th time in 41 majors. The names of the golfers who failed to win this major are major. Mike Wier and John Daly didn’t even make the cut. Oh, I am sorry; we only speak of failure to win if we are talking about Tiger. No one else qualifies for failure (Tiger was number one in the world for a record 332 week). The fact that none of these guys ever can take him on one on one has no meaning. Good for you Vijay Singh. Congratulations to Justin Leonard, a former winner of the British Open who really doesn’t take himself too seriously and carries a head cover for his driver that is a doll representing his dog named “Sunday.” He was second. When all the media darlings were failing again for the umpteenth time, Justin came through and whipped their butts. Justin has won a few tournaments, is happily married and understands who he is and what he can do. Unfortunately, he lost to a last minute charge from Vijay. I can tell you one thing. Whispering Straights really is a great place to watch a golf tournament. There are lots of high dunes to perch on and an opportunity to see entire holes with no tree interference. It is a little tough to get into the place though. You have to walk about a mile from the parking lot just to get to the course itself and then it is some pretty healthy hiking to get to some of the holes. Once there it is well worth it if you are young enough to withstand the physical exertion. There were a lot of old people (and I do mean a lot of them) who were more than a little tuckered out. I am surprised there haven't been more reports of collapsed aging boomers. You see, that is the other observation about the crowds at this "Major", they are really old and really upper middle class. That should be expected though when you see that the PGA expects people to be able to pay $3.50 for a hot dog or Pepsi and $6 for a beer. Since you can't exit once you've gone inside and since you can't bring anything with you, I guess they have you trapped there and they know it. Having said that, it appeared that there were many people who were perfectly content to spend so much for beer as I noticed a lot of folks who had consumed quite a few. And I also noted that the "old folks" crowd seemed pretty happy to go inside the merchandise tent and throw armloads of $100 polo shirts into their shopping baskets. I reckon the PGA knows its client base. But everyone I encountered seemed to be more than happy to be where they were on that day which just goes to prove the old adage that "any day at the beach is better than a day at work." The event organizers are also to be complimented on their handling of traffic and parking. It really was as close as you get to flawless. Okay Okay Okay........Last weeks observations about USA basketball might have been a touch premature. A loss to Puerto Rico isn’t exactly the death knell but it sure is some serious illness. I will have to admit that the guard from the Utah Jazz played out his a--, but when we can’t hit a twenty foot jumper, I can’t figure out what the heck is going on. We will see what we will see and I am still proud of these guys who cared enough about our country to answer the call but I am at least a little embarrassed. If we should actually lose this thing I will be a little perturbed with Shaq and there may be some members of the Pistons who might irritate me too. Remember that for the last six months how just about every "expert" you read or heard was waxing prolific about how the Olympics venues would never be ready and that the whole event would be disastrous. Guess what, they were wrong? Again. Anyone who saw the opening ceremonies could see that there are some extremely talented people who were running that show and it went off without a hitch. And so far the venues are all up and running quite well and some are really remarkable in architecture and design. What's more, it appears that the terrorists have decided to skip Athens this summer. With all the security that is there, I guess they decided not to pick on someone who was looking for them. That would have required some guts and we know they really are lacking in that area. There are still two weeks to go yet but I bet this Olympics will come off really well and that Greece will have plenty to be proud about. Dax Holdren and Stein Metzger came from out of oblivion to win their first match in Beach Volleyball after Dain Blanton and his partner from Madison lost their first game. Who expected Jeff Nygaard from Madison, Wisconsin to be representing the USA in Beach Volleyball in Athens? And who expected Misty May to make a recovery? And where that is concerned, who but the real diehard fans even knew that Paul and Morgan Hamm were even competing? They are from Waukesha. And these guys are serious studs and major league athletes and people around here don’t even know who they are. They are gymnasts and they are a good as any who have ever come from this country. Let’s give them a parade when they come home. These guys are the real deal and I don’t use the word stud lightly. I am a little irritated that the USA swimming coach left Gary Hall Jr, off the 400 relay team so that Michael Phelps could try to achieve his 7 gold medal performance for the $1,000,000 prize from Speedo. We lost badly and Hall is the best relay swimmer who ever came from the USA. We sold him out for a financial reason and it really sucks. Good luck Phelps but there is no way you get the million. I am probably the only person who thinks so but I wonder if the suspect Packer secondary will be able to count on two rookies to cover the corners? As a matter of fact, I wonder if there will be any corner coverage. Michael Hawthorne is not the answer and the rookies will never get it. If Brett really wants to go to another Super Bowl and if he thinks this is the year, then he better hope that Mike Sherman gets over his little fit of irritation and gets Mike McKenzie back into the lineup. Immediately. But Sherman doesn't seem to be the type of guy to admit he has made any mistakes and will probably continue to think everything is just fine. Guess he wants to be President. With all of that said, and many other thoughts and ideas to ponder in the week ahead, I will leave you for now. Please, as always note that I am readily available to email and check it daily. And as always, Milwaukeeworlders, God forbid, keep your ears open and your noses clean. Marty the Sports Chick
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