INAUGURATION FEVER SWEEPS CITY

Special to the Readers of Milwaukeeworld.com

By Michael Horne

The sun and the moon might abandon their orbits today, Tuesday, April 15th, 2008, yet none of us would be any the wiser, so great is the excitement of Inauguration Day in Milwaukee. City Hall has never appeared lovelier, at least in its lower reaches, where bunting festoons the vertiginous atrium of the Great Hall of the People. Flowers and potted plants abound in every corner -- even in the stairwells! No door is without a sentinel of scented blooms, no desk is unadorned with elegant arrangements of the florist's art to satisfy the concupiscence denied us still by the chill caprice of Mother Nature even so late in the month.

The members of the Common Council did their oathing at 9 a.m. in their brightly lit chambers on the third floor of the historic building. Friends and family members sat in the galleries, and munched upon sweet buns and fresh fruit in the anteroom of the most noble legislature ever convened for the governance of a municipality.
As of this writing, the aldermen and their captives in the Pabst Theater are listening to each other speak, and we are leading up to the denouement -- the Inaugural Address of His Honor Thomas Barrett. Comptroller W. Martin "Wally" Morics, C.P.A. has just delivered an address of such sterling majesty that Cicero himself, had he heard it, would have embraced the wisdom of Socrates and committed suicide on the spot.
Once the noble sentiments and thunderous pronouncements no longer echo through the vaulted splendor of the baroque Pabst Theater, it will be a mad dash across N. Water St. for the Mayor's open house. Not only is the office of our Burgermeister being readied for visitors, but the Common Council meeting rooms above will also bear the crush of the good citizens of this city out for a free, and well-deserved luncheon. (Milwaukeeworld will be cutting out for that shortly.)

HOW TO KONTAKT ALDERMAN NIK KOVAK BY E-MAIL!
The city has created e-mail accounts for the newest representatives on the Common Council, so they can get right down to business. But whose responsibility is it to assign these addresses? Or to see that the new members' photographs do not appear out-of-kilter on the council home page? Take the example of Nik Kovac, the new alderman of the 3rd District. The city lists his e-mail address as: "mkovak@milwaukee.gov."
The address doesn't work, nor should it, since it has the alderman's first initial incorrect and his last name misspelled.
It appears the correct address for the alderman, according to the city's protocol, would be "nkovac@milwaukee.gov." I used it this morning when I sent him a request for service regarding a one-way traffic issue that has troubled me close to home. Kovac might have a Harvard degree in pure mathematics, but even if his thesis were on infinity, he'll have no idea of what the word "infinity" means until he experiences the infinite number of requests and complaints his constituents will impose during his turn in office.
--Michael Horne

WHAT MAKES THE CITY (HALL) SO LOVELY?

As noted above, the public areas of City Hall are bedecked with flowers today. For that we can thank the efforts of Preston Cole, the capable director of environmental services for the city. Cole, dressed impeccably as always in threads from Aala Reed (his wife Laura Lutter Cole's shop on Brady Street) was seen entering the mayor's office carrying a stack of flowerpots, despite his elegant wardrobe. ... What better time to pester him with a question? So, I asked what the city is going to do when hundreds of thousands of televisions will be thrown into the trash due to their impending obsolescence? (I have to battle my way through a maze of old RCA console televisions just to get to the bus stop.) He says there will be a city-wide pick up of the old sets on Saturday, April 26th, 2008. Yes, despite the excitement of Inauguration Day, the essential services of the city continue, and the sun and the moon remain in their orbits through the cosmos, of which Milwaukee is nothing more than a very important part.
--Michael Horne

COMMON COUNCIL SEATING CHART REVEALED
The 15 members of the Common Council of the City of Milwaukee sit at 14 wooden desks, each adorned with a brass plaque denoting their occupancy. This, of course, appears to leave one member out. That member is the Common Council President, chosen this morning from among his peers. He sits in front of, and facing, the other members. Although the President Willie Hines, Jr. was officially re-elected to that position in the first order of business of the council this morning, no desk in the hall bore his name on an engraved plaque, so it's not like there is any surprise in his selection.
The MilwaukeeWorld Hound Dog Investigation Team sniffed out the seats of the 2008-2012 Common Council, and here is what we found.
Pretend you are President Hines and the council members are facing you. We'll read the positions from left to right, beginning with the front row and continuing to the rear of the hall.
ROW THE FIRST:
Coggs; Hamilton;
ROW THE SECOND
Zielinski; Wade; Dudzik; Puente
ROW THE THIRD
Witkowski; Bauman; Donovan; Bohl
ROW THE FOURTH
Witkowiak; Davis; Kovac; Murphy
--Michael Horne