DRUNK LEAVES STOLEN FAKE GRENADE IN STREET

By Michael Horne

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports a 50-year old man stole a training grenade from the Army Navy Surplus store at 707 W. Wisconsin Ave. around noon today, Friday, April 4th, 2008, and left it in the intersection of N. 8th St. and W. Wisconsin Ave. where it was immediately spotted by officers. The man was charged with Disorderly Conduct and Retail Theft.
Kennith Marx [correct spelling -- Ed.], the co-owner of the venerable shop, said the individual was a frequent sight in the neighborhood, and exists on vouchers from Wisconsin Community Services, Inc. a United Way agency that has helped at-risk individuals inside and outside the criminal justice system since 1912.
Marx said he did not know the individual had stolen the grenade. "He's a goof," Marx said of the suspect. "He was drunk. He would pull things from one shelf, then put them back, pick something from another shelf." The suspect was out of the store for no more than three minutes before the police arrested him, closing down the high-traffic intersection for 40 minutes. The store is located about 800 feet from, and directly on the route from the Police Administration Building.
Marx, a noted scholar, collector of, and lecturer on Wisconsin Art, said the novelty grenades sell for $6. Make that sold. "I'm pulling them. Chuck them. They're nothing but trouble. Maybe I'll bring them to the bar tonight and hand them out to my friends."

FOURTH ANNUAL LADY OF DIVINE PROVIDENCE FESTIVAL AT LAKEFRONT BREWERY SUNDAY

Jim Klisch, just back from Poland and Hungary, will hardly have the time to recover from jet lag before he gets the chance to host the 4th Annual Our Lady of Divine Providence Festival Sunday, April 6th, 2008, at Lakefront Brewery, 1872 N. Commerce St.
The family-friendly gig runs from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., which should get you plenty primed up for the rest of the evening. The nominal $5 admission will introduce you to a world of delights, accompanied by the polka stylings of Sarah Kozar and the Squeezettes from noon to 2 p.m.. The event helps to raise funds for the maintenance of St. Casimir and St. Mary of Czestochowa church buildings. The parishes merged in 2004 when it was realized that none of the members could remember how to spell "Czestochowa." See you there!
--Michael Horne