NEW! JESSICA SIMPSON MASK -- NEW YORK GIANTS VERSION

[Updated Tuesday, January 15th, 2008--Ed.]

Milwaukeeworld on ESPN!

Steve Mason of 710 ESPN Radio, Los Angeles, invited Milwaukeeworld Editor / Publisher Michael Horne to speak on his show Monday, January 14th, 2008. His account follows:

Although my schedule did not permit me to enjoy the warm January Los Angeles air, I was able to enjoy my words being aired in Los Angeles via telephone as I sat in Milwaukee, watching the river freeze. I answered questions about the motivation behind the Jessica Simpson mask from Steve Mason, who has the early afternoon shift at the sports talk station KSPN 710AM. I managed to mention Milwaukee a number of times, and I recounted the heartwrenching agony I felt when I first heard that a sturdy young Wisconsinite had been corrupted by a Hollywood temptress, and my revenge via masquery. My words reached an 0.8 share of the nation's largest radio market, according to Arbitron estimates, but I shall not let that go to my head, for I would rather have 100% of the much smaller Milwaukee radio market any day. If you'd care to have a listen to sports radio L.A. style, click here. I show up 18 minutes, 50 seconds into the show.
--Michael Horne

SUCCESS! Well, folks, it appears that the absence of Jessica Simpson in person and the presence of Masked Jessica has proven fatal to Tony Romo's chances to advance to the upper reaches of his chosen career. This might displease Cowboys fans, and might even cause Jessica to utter a whimper or two. But look at the bright side -- Tony got to hang out with Jessica and her folks in Mexico last week. Now, the Dairy State can return the favor by giving Jessica a chance to explore Wisconsin. After all, Antonio Ramiro Romo III doesn't have anything to do, work-wise, this weekend. What a perfect time to take his gal to see his old haunts. Jessie can pal around with Tony's folks in Burlington, and cheer the Packers at Lambeau field on Sunday!

LEADFOOT TONY
But Jessica, make sure to tell your honey not to speed his way through Wisconsin like he did last July when the Racine County Sheriff busted him for going 15 mph over the limit! Or, back in 2003, when your giant of a man still dwelt among us, and the State Patrol caught him doing 17 mph over!
-- Michael Horne

GRANDPA'S ADVICE

“Don't ever get lost and be careful with the temptations of prestige and money. Remember who you are.”
-Antonio Ramiro Romo, Sr., with advice for his grandson, Dallas Quarterback Tony Romo, quoted in the San Antonio Express-News, November 2^nd, 2006. Are you listening, Tony? Or has the Siren of Studio City caught you in her snare?

--Michael Horne

[Updated Friday, January 11th, 2008--
John Branch of the excellent "Fifth Down" Blog at The New York Times was kind enough to link to this post! Thanks from Milwaukeeworld and welcome, Times readers.--Ed.]

Jessica Simpson Mask --The NEW YORK GIANTS VERSION!
We hear you loud and clear, Empire State football fans, and we have created a Jessica Simpson mask just for your big game against Dallas. Jessie the Jinx and Romeo Tony spent the weekend in Mexico, but our gal won't make it to the big game this weekend. It is a shame that Jessica won't be at the game in person, but this custom cut-out beauty should do the trick. Blow it up, print it out, wear it with pride, and Go, Giants!
--Michael Horne



WILL THE JESSICA JINX WORK IN CAPITAL CITY?
Dear Readers --

Due to the overwhelming success of our first release, (see below) Milwaukeeworld is happy to extend its popular Jessica Simpson mask line with the special Washington Redskins version of the pretty cutout! Wear it to the game Sunday, and be prepared for the Fall of Dallas! Also, thanks to the Sports Bog at the Washington Post for mentioning our mask. [Click on image to enlarge.--Ed.]
--Michael Horne

[Originally posted December 21st, 2007]

Dear Readers:

Twenty-first century siren Jessica Simpson threw Tony Romo's game into turmoil last week because her boyfriend just can't keep her off his mind. Even Romo's teammate Terrell Owens said the pulchritudinous blonde should keep her distance so the man from Burlington, Wisconsin can win this game for the Dallas Cowboys.
Those of us who remain true to the Green and Gold feel it would not be fair for the young Rom(e)o to be deprived of the beauty of his inamorata, so milwaukeeworld offers you this do-it-yourself Jessica Simpson cutout mask. Make sure your friends in Ol' Carolina print these beauties out and wear them to the game at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte on Saturday at 8 p.m. (EST). You'll help preserve the Panthers' playoff chances, and you'll guarantee home-field advantage for the Pack on the road to the Superbowl. Click on the link below for your very own Jessica mask!
[Update: We are not alone! There is a fun website called http://www.ruinromo.com/ that offers its very own Jessica Simpson cutout mask. I talked with its creator, San Diego real estate agent Matt Sorensen, who tells me he "still bleeds green and gold." Matt's originally from Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin and said his wife came up with the website idea as a Christmas present to help guarantee home field advantage for the Pack. Like the undersigned, he says he's having fun with it. "Go, Pack, Go!," he adds.]

--Michael Horne

JSimpsoncutout.pdf

NYJessica.pdf